Weis won't let the terrorists win
Posted: Friday, August 24, 2007 7:08 PM
I know that college football is more than just a game, maybe more than life itself. It’s the reason colleges were built – to serve as homes for football teams. So I’m not going to be the one running around saying that there are other things in life more important than football, because there aren’t any, including breathing and eating and going to the bathroom after six beers.
So I guess I can’t get on Charlie Weis’ case for pulling a Dick Cheney on reporters who asked him who his starting quarterback is going to be when Notre Dame opens against Georgia Tech. Yep, Weis said, he has picked a starter from among Evan Sharpley, Demetrius Jones and Jimmy Clausen. And nope, he ain’t telling us who it is.
He can’t tell us because if he does, the terrorists will win. Besides, that information is protected by executive privilege.
This is true coaching genius that he could have learned only at the knee of Bill Belichick, the Patriots coach who is the original public relations black hole – information goes in and never comes out. He’s got three potential quarterbacks, none of whom have started a college game, and he doesn’t want the Yellow Jackets to know which of the quarterbacks they know nothing about is going to start the first game.
It’s the old element of surprise. It’s such a surprise, in fact, that even the quarterbacks don’t know which one is going to start. When reporters tried a couple of follow-up questions, Weis reportedly got irritable. How dare they ask such things. Remember the terrorists!
The mystery deepened on Friday, the only day on which freshmen are allowed to try their hand at speaking actual words to reporters in response to actual questions. Clausen, the true freshman who came to Notre Dame with more hype that David Beckham had going to the Galaxy, had surgery in the spring to remove bone spurs from his throwing elbow.
Weis had neglected to mention that – you can only imagine what would have happened if Georgia Tech had had that information three or four months ago. So he let everyone speculate about whether Clausen would win the starting job, even though he’s apparently still building up his arm strength.
Exactly how strong he is isn’t clear; reporters aren’t allowed to watch practices either except for the one on Friday. It was the day when Weis lifts all the veils. Freshmen talk. Practice is open. Go ahead and fill your notebooks, guys. Just don’t expect him to make a habit of it.
I figure that this year it’s the quarterbacks. Next year, he’ll keep the offensive line a secret and maybe the linebackers. No sense giving that first opponent too much information. Give him enough time, and he’ll keep the schedule a secret – why should the opponents even know who they’re going to play? They could get a competitive advantage.
All I can say is he’d better beat Georgia Tech. It wouldn’t hurt to beat Michigan and USC, too. And while he’s at it, he might want to win a bowl game. It’s the only thing that would make this nonsense tolerable.
