AFI all wrong with top sports movies
Posted: Wednesday, June 18, 2008 4:39 PM
The American Film Institute, in another of their annual exercises designed to drive normal people to distraction, has had the audacity to name the top 10 sports films of all time. As can be expected when you assign a group of people whose lives are devoted to making films the task of ranking the own works, the list is high on drama and abysmally short of movies people actually want to watch.
Here’s the list the pros came up with:
1. “Raging Bull,” 1980.
2. “Rocky,” 1976.
3. “The Pride of the Yankees,” 1942.
4. “Hoosiers,” 1986.
5. “Bull Durham,” 1988.
6. “The Hustler,” 1961.
7. “Caddyshack,” 1980.
8. “Breaking Away,” 1979.
9. “National Velvet,” 1944.
10. “Jerry Maguire,” 1996.
Take a moment to read the list and ask yourself which of those, if you stumbled across it during a bout of channel-surfing on a rainy afternoon, would you actually watch and which you would tune into to put yourself to sleep – maybe permanently?
If it’s sleep I’m hungering for, I’m going straight to “National Velvet,” and I’m giving myself five minutes before I’m either senseless or rummaging through the medicine cabinet for a razor blade with which to end my suffering.
I’ll take the institute’s word for it that “National Velvet” is a terrific film. All I know is that it’s got something to do with horses and a very young Elizabeth Taylor is in it. A quick Internet search tells me that Mickey Rooney is in it, too, and it’s about a steeplechase. Only an actor would look at Taylor and Rooney in combination with a horse jumping hedges and conclude “sports movie.”
It’s not a sports movie; it’s a chick flick. If you want an old movie about horses, take my word for it and watch “A Day at the Races” with the Marx Brothers. You’ll laugh your fetlocks off and you even get a horse race at the end of it.
But back to the list. It’s got way too many movies that are considered great films, and the problem with great films is the same as the problem with great books. You may list “War and Peace” as one of the greatest novels ever written, but if you’re heading for the beach, you’re grabbing the latest Janet Evanovich mystery or a Tom Clancy potboiler. You ain’t grabbing “War and Peace.” And if you’ve actually read it, I’ll guarantee that you aren’t going to read it again, even if you thought it was the greatest book ever written. It’s too damned serious.
That’s the problem with “Raging Bull,” the No. 1 movie on the AFI list. I agree that it’s a great movie, and Robert De Niro is spectacular in it. But there’s no happy ending to this thing, and by the end of it, you feel just as beaten up as the fighters. You watch it once, and you say, “Wow, what a great film,” but you may never watch it again.
My idea of a top 10 list is not the 10 best, but the 10 movies you actually want to watch again and again and again. To put it a different way, the best movies are the ones that you have no choice to watch when you stumble across them while channel surfing.
“Major League” does that to me. If it’s on, I don’t care what time of day or night it is, I’m watching it. It’s sophomoric and silly, but, hey, I’m from Cleveland and the first time I saw it was the first time in my life that I saw the Indians win something. I got all misty-eyed when they beat the Yankees and got in the playoffs.
Call me a sap. I’m guilty as charged. But even though I know that “Major League” isn’t an ultimate triumph in the art of film-making, it’s on my top 10 for the simple reason that I like it.
A few years ago, ESPN.com had a panel of “experts” come up with a list of the top 25 sports movies, then let readers vote on their list. The experts had “Raging Bull” set at No. 2 and “Caddyshack” at No. 5. The fans put “Raging Bull” at No. 10 and Caddyshack at No. 2. Both experts and fans thought “Hoosiers” was the best sports flick ever.
The experts also had “Chariots of Fire” and “Seabiscuit” in the top 10, but the fans wanted no part of those two films, going with “Rudy” and “Major League” instead. Both ESPN readers and experts had “Remember the Titans” in the top 10, and it’s hard to argue with that choice – it makes you feel good to watch it. It’s the same with “Rudy,” which is a formula film except it’s about a real person. It’s not a great movie, but people love to watch it because it makes them feel good.
The AFI at least had the sense to recognize the eternal greatness of “Caddyshack,” listing it at No. 7. And "Hoosiers” came in fourth with the film crowd. On the other hand, the AFI listed “Pride of the Yankees” third, “The Hustler” sixth and “Breaking Away” eighth.
Pardon me while I wretch. “The Hustler” is a great movie, and I don’t mind seeing it again and again, but it’s a pool movie, and that’s as much a sport at darts is. (By the way, if anybody ever makes a good darts movie – you know, “Caddyshack” style – I’m first in line for the DVD.) As for “Pride of the Yankees,” it’s a maudlin piece of work about Lou Gehrig, and if you like it, it’s probably more because you admire Gehrig than because of its value as a film. I like Gehrig and I’ve seen the movie probably four times, but I still don’t see it as a great work.
Then there’s “Breaking Away.” I’m going to make a confession here: I never watched it. I can’t. It’s about bike racing, for crissakes – men in Spandex. I had a hard time watching the Tour de France before I knew it was loaded with more drugs than Pfizer. There’s no way I’m watching an entire movie about riding a bike.
I have similar feelings about “Chariots of Fire.” The underlying true story is really neat, but the movie itself is a mawkish pool of treacle. All that slow-motion running in perfect lighting makes me want to throw something large with many sharp edges at the TV.
I don’t really like “Jerry Maguire,” either. It’s not about sports. It’s about sports agents. Big difference. Give me “North Dallas 40,” or “The Natural.”
Speaking of “The Natural,” it’s not on the AFI top 10 list at all. Neither is “Slapshot,” an absolute top 5 movie on any sensible person’s list.
And they call themselves experts?
